Rods & Classics: The 2009 Concours of Rotten LeMons!
Story and Photos By Nigel Matthews
Sometimes we take things too seriously and it is refreshing when we stand back and sometimes laugh at ourselves.
I can appreciate the Concours d’LeMons perhaps a bit more than the average person having judged for a number of years at the most serious and intense Concours d’Elegance in the world, the Pebble Beach Concours.
Attending the inaugural Concours d’LeMons in Toro Park, near Salinas, California, was a bargain at a mere $20 admission – $155 cheaper than a ticket to Pebble Beach. The Concours d’LeMons bills itself as a celebration of the oddball, mundane and the truly awful of the automotive world. Judging from what I saw at the event, they delivered on all that they promised and possibly more.
To enter a vehicle, you have to pass the scrutiny of the selection committee by answering three tough questions:
1. Do you take yourself painfully seriously?
2. Do you think expensive cars are interesting?
3. Are your shoes, sunglasses or underwear embossed with a marque logo?
If you answered “no” to all three questions, you’re eligible to enter the Concours d”LeMons.
Step two is to pick a class from the list supplied by the organizers. If you can’t find anything suitable, the organizers will make one up for you. You might receive an award, and you might not! No whining is allowed either way. Another rule is picnic baskets and champagne are not allowed on site; these would be far too posh and might upset the vendors operating the two onsite taco trucks from nearby Salinas and the chap manning the tap of the beer keg of the onsite beer corral.
Having owned a few of the cars in some of the classes, I think these classes and awards seemed very appropriate.
Unmitgated Gaul, pre-1970 Citroen Ami, Renault Caravelle, etc. Award: The French Legion of Horror.
Rueful Britannia, 1966-current. Award: The Royal Order of MOT (Ministry of Transport Test) Failure.
Needlessly Complex Italian, 1974-current. Award: Conoscete un Buon Meccanico?
There were some special awards that included the following classes:
Wretched Rejects: For any vehicle that has been refused admittance by a major Concours; the rejection letter must be displayed on the vehicle during the event.
Carrozzeria Iacocca: For K-Cars and their zillion derivatives.
The three biggest losers (in reality the winners) of the entire Concours could take home one of the following awards:
Worst in Show (the ultimate award)
Biggest Loser: This is awarded to the car with the largest percentage of depreciation (could that be a Jaguar?) and finally the Most Dangerous.
The judges are guaranteed to be the best in the country, if not the world, for being inattentive, capricious and open to bribery (liquor and food being their favourites). Satisfactory bribes earned the “Ribbon of Dishonour,” which was placed on the recipient’s windshield. I am sure the word is now out and the display of rotten LeMons in Toro Park is going to grow and grow.[PSGallery=1bposok1er]
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